Tag Archives: sleep

Paragraph # 28: Tired.

tired

 

OH MY GOD!

I’M SO TIRED.

I have no reason to be this bone crushingly exhausted, but here I am, sitting on my couch in my jam jams, struggling to keep my eyes open.

My day at work was pretty uneventful, so I really don’t have any excuse for wanting to go to bed at eight thirty on a Saturday night.

The only exciting part of work today occurred when an older gentleman told me that I should inform all my customers to buy the squirrel socks we sell because his daughter wore them for her government French exam and she passed. I smiled and said “awesome” and then he went on a giant tangent about how hard it is to get a job in the government. I did my best to look busy in an attempt to get away from the conversation, but he wouldn’t stop talking at me. After rambling on for a solid five minutes he told me AGAIN how I should tell all my customers about the magical squirrel socks and then he said “thanks, Buddy” and left.

Buddy? People are so weird.

Tomorrow I have a ridiculous day “off”. A bowling tournament, two hockey games, skating lessons and our crazy annual toy store staff party extravaganza.

I’m going to need a clone, a caffeine drip and a solid eighteen hours of sleep tonight if I plan on surviving tomorrow’s madness.

What’s that I hear? It’s my sweet, sweet couch calling!

Good night and thanks for reading.

See you tomorrow,

NFred.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Paragraph #25: Suck it, Snow Day.

snow day

 

I had high hopes for today.

A day off work and eight glorious hours to myself.

I didn’t have any big plans. Just writing, sitting on my couch, watching some Netflix and eating a chocolate bar.

But all of that was thrown out the window when today was declared a Snow Day.

And the kicker? It’s NOT EVEN FUCKING SNOWING OUTSIDE!!!!!!

Okay fine, there’s some freezing rain action and the roads are slick but don’t fucking call it a Snow Day when there’s no snow falling from the goddam sky.

And it’s all my fault.

I should have driven my kids to school.

I deeply regret the decision I made when I was semi conscious at six thirty this morning.

At the time, the idea of staying in bed for a glorious extra half hour impaired my judgement.

I should have gotten my fat ass out of bed and taken them to school.

But it’s too late for “should haves.”

Now I have to live with the consequences of my sleep deprived actions.

And by “live” I mean I have to sit here on my couch, drinking coffee and writing while my kids alternate between playing video games and making me loaves of bread out of Playdoh.

Wait a second…

I’m sitting on my couch, writing. That’s half of what I wanted to accomplish today and it’s not even noon!

If I can sneak in some Netflix programming that isn’t animated and scarf down that chocolate bar without getting busted by the kids, then I’ll triumph over this stupid Snow Day!

Did you hear that Snow Day?

I’m half way to owning you!

AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!

So, why don’t you take your freezing rain and your ice and your cancelled school buses and SUCK IT!

I’m going to be right here on my couch chillaxing like you never even existed.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you tomorrow,

NFred.

 

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