Category Archives: Friday

Frothy Friday

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My internet has been totally wonky since yesterday.

It seems to be working just fine now.

I’m going to pretend that it’s still broken and use that as an excuse NOT to blog tonight.

I’m in no state to write anything even remotely intelligent, witty or coherent.

Here are the reasons why;

1. I just spent my evening being on the receiving end of my five year old’s shit list.

2. I am pooped from a long day of work.

3. There is a mass amount of beer in my fridge that is calling my name. It’s saying, NFred! Drink us! Drink us all! We taste so good! We love you! We’ll make all your troubles disappear! Don’t spend your night on the computer! Spend all your time with us, DRINKING!”

You have to admit that the beer in my fridge does have several compelling arguments.

Therefore, I shall choose beer over blog tonight.

BUT WAIT!!!

I’m working on something that I hope will be ready soon…

I promise that it will be as intriguing as a cat wearing a ball gown.

I PROMISE!

Now off to beer I go!

Hope you’re all enjoying a Frothy Friday!

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Frustrating Friday

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Today was a legendary day in the world of retail.

L E G E N D A R Y.

Every single terrible customer in the history of the universe decided to come shopping at my store.

Here are the top three offenders…

1. Irate granny who didn’t get her senior’s discount. When I refunded her the difference, she complained that it took me too long and put everyone in a bad mood. When I told her I was in great spirits she rolled her eyes at me.

2. Strange french speaking woman who went on and on about how she bought the same product that we sell for $3.49 for $0.99 in the United States. This baffled her to no end. Her mind was totally blown. She might never be the same.

3. Creepy twins with even creepier parents who are regulars at our store and stay there for HOURS. Today they spent a good two hours in the morning and probably a solid hour after lunch. Creepy twin dad even asked us for a chair to sit on and if we could fill up his water bottle. We said no to both because I work at a toy store and not a spa. At one point, creepy dad even asked me to watch his twins while he went to another store. They are five. FIVE. Obviously he thinks we are both a spa and a daycare. 

Now that I am sitting in my cozy house, double fisting beer, I can laugh at the irksome behaviors that I had to endure. 

Deep down in my cold black heart, I feel sorry for these people. Their lives must be so miserable. The only way they can feel better about themselves is to be complete ass-hats.

This terrible day was not a total wash. I came home to a delicious bbq dinner, my son scored a goal at soccer AND there are cookies in my cupboard. 

AND DID I MENTION THAT I AM DRINKING BEER?

I wonder what all the ass-hats are doing right now???

Actually, I don’t want to know. I just want to sit here in the beautiful silence of my home and forget that they even exist.

 

*Serious italic time…I feel bad for writing such a bitchy and unkind post. These people might be swell individuals. Who am I to judge them? I’m just some mom who works in a toy store. I really should try to be a nicer person…I really should. But it’s so easy to hate people who treat you like used toilet paper. I’m sure there’s some good inside of them…deep, deep, deep down. Like maybe they are good at recycling or baking or origami or underwater basket weaving or shoveling snow or breathing.

 

 

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FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!

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FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!

It’s almost ten o’clock at night, which is like three a.m. in mom time.

FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!

I’m on my second beer, which is like six beers in mom drinking.

FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!

I just watched an entire kids movie and did not fall asleep, which is legendary in mom endurance.

FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!

I have two school fun fairs to attend tomorrow, which are like the freak’n Oscars of mom outings.

FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!

I’m about to scarf down some cookies and watch the Food Network, which is like eating a chocolate souffle while having an hour long massage in mom indulgence.

FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!

*Time for the serious italics. This is a terrible post. TERRIBLE. But I am committed to writing something EVERY FRIDAY, even if it’s just a jumble of words that lack any sort of creativity or continuity or coherence. I apologize with all my heart. I shall now crack open beer number three. That’s right, THREE. Shit’s about to get real…and by that i mean, I’ll be fast asleep in my bed within half an hour.

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Failed Friday

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In almost a month of blog writing, I haven’t missed a Friday. This beloved day of the week is quickly becoming one of my favourite days to write.

Sadly, today will be the first Friday in NFred history where I don’t write. Well technically I’m writing at this very moment, but I digress…

This week has been so insanely busy, I’ve barely had time to blow my nose. Dealing with the packing and the organizing and the purging and the highs and lows of my children’s moving anxieties has left me totally drained.

Tonight is the last official night in my old home. My wonderful husband and mother-in-law are were like two insane work horses on steroids today and got a massive amount of moving done while I was a work. Everything is finally starting to fall into place and I couldn’t be more relieved.

My children are sleeping at my parent’s house and I could be working on the final packing or cleaning or writing the next great Canadian novel, but I’m forgetting all of that and choosing to sit on my arse and do absolutely nothing instead. That’s right. I’m going to sit on my ugly red chair and drink beer and drool over Gordon Ramsey on TV. You read that correctly. I have a thing for the arrogant British chef and I’m not ashamed.

It feels so amazing to just sit here and not have to do anything. It’s bliss and decadence and joy all rolled into one. It’s blisadenceoy.

I apologize for this muddled post. It’s probably my worst one yet, hence today is officially dubbed Failed Friday.

At least I wrote something, right?

And I made up a word…

Blisadenceoy. 

I should contact the Webster people ASAP because that is one amazing word. It just rolls off the tongue.

Blisadenceoy.

Try using it in a sentence…

This chocolate cake is divine. It’s pure blisadenceoy.

Hanging out with you brings blisadenceoy to my day.

Gordon Ramsey makes me feel blisadenceoyously in my heart.

I’m going to get myself another beer because I desire to bring more blisadenceoy to this evening.

I wish you all a blisadenceoyously wonderful evening.

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