I must be very in tune with the universe because you’ll never guess who showed up at The Toy Shop on the same day that I wrote this:
So there I was, minding my own business, innocently going about my evening. My coworker was on her dinner break and I was finishing up some paperwork behind the cash. I heard some chatter at the front of the store and as I looked over to say hello, I realized that…
IT WAS HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Holy crap! It was like my writing had conjured Her over to the The Toy Shop!
I momentarily contemplated running into the back room and forcing my coworker to deal with Her, but then decided to pull up my boot straps and handle it like the capable retail professional that I am.
In a booming voice, I called over “HELLO”. She nodded and then walked towards me with her child.
“Do you have those special tattoo pens?”, she asked while looking directly at my face.
“Yes, we do. Follow me”, I replied while looking directly at Her face.
I walked Her over to the section of the store where she could find what she was looking for and then I booked it back to the cash area.
It was obvious that she still didn’t recognize me.
As I was contemplating my forgettable status behind the safety of the cash area, she approached me, ready to pay. Because I’m super smooth in awkward situations, I asked her child if he was going to tattoo the word “mom” on his arm with his new pens. Well did that ever make Her laugh. Like a real, snort inducing chuckle.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED…
“Hey, I know you! From hockey!” she said with a smile.
“NO, YOU KNOW ME FROM BEING AN ASSHAT ABOUT FREE GIFT WRAPPING” is what I wanted to say, but all that came out was “yes”.
“I thought you looked familiar. Have you worked here long?’, she asked innocently.
“LONG ENOUGH TO REMEMBER THAT YOU’RE AN ASSHAT”, I thought but again replied with “yes”.
“Well I guess we’ll see you next weekend then. Nice seeing you again”, she said with a smile as she exited The Toy Shop.
NICE SEEING ME AGAIN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
If only she knew how NOT nice it was for ME seeing HER again.
I couldn’t help but think about Her for the rest of my shift. What kind of a person explodes on someone and then acts like it never happened? Maybe she regularly loses her shit on underpaid customer service employees making it next to impossible to keep us all straight in her asshat mind?
I have far too many questions that I fear will never get answered.
Who the crap is this woman?
What is Her deal?!?!?!?
I JUST DON’T KNOW.
Life really is full of surprises…and unpredictable plot twists…