Paragraph # 26: Why I Love My Best Friend.

BFF.png

According to Facebook, today is Friends Day.

In celebration of this holiday that is probably made up, I have compiled a list of twenty-six things I love about my best friend.

 

  1. She is one of the only people left on the planet who still sends actual letters in the actual mail.

  2. She takes epic chin selfies.

  3. I’m pretty sure that if you asked her who her best friend was she would say her dogs and I’m okay with that because her “pets” have never written her a lovely list. So there, dogs.

  4. She drinks maple whisky out of a glass with a skull on it while knitting and watching musicals on TV. She’s the perfect mix of a party girl and your eighty-five year old Grandma.

  5. Her hair gets disgustingly greasy if she doesn’t wash it everyday. Seeing her in all her oily glory makes me feel better about my own appearance.

  6. She swears like a sailor.

  7. She’s so tiny that she can still wear kids sized clothes and sometimes the teachers at her school confuse her for a student. (FYI she teaches at an elementary school.)

  8. She’s going to name her future child Ming Ling because I said so.

  9. When I ask her what I should write about, her standard answer is, “ME! AND MY DOGS!”

  10. We can go from talking about serious life issues to farts in a single sentence.

  11. She holds my hand in public.

  12. Being a vegetarian, she really appreciates it when I text her pictures of meat.

  13. Her first impression of me when we met was that I was a “weirdo”. My first impression of her was that she was “loud”. We both still feel the same way, eighteen years later.

  14. A demolition derby, learning to surf in Costa Rica and acting in a Japanese play are all examples of her random adventures.

  15. She has special seatbelts for her dogs in her car.

  16. She’s a huge fan of recycling, composting, biodegradable household products, the environment, animals and reusable containers. If she hadn’t become a teacher she probably would have become David Suzuki.

  17. Two things that fill her with rage are shovelling her driveway and being stuck behind slow walkers.

  18. She has several friends who happen to be llamas. None of them are her BEST friend…just throwing that out there.

  19. Her eyebrows always reveal her true feelings.

  20. She sing talks CONSTANTLY.

  21. She has a special skirt that she wears when she goes running.

  22. She gets sassy when she drinks.

  23. Her ideal food is dill pickle chips.

  24. Her musical tastes are on point with those of a thirteen year old girl.

  25. Her childhood home strongly resembled a Hobbit Hole.

  26. She uses kindness as the driving force in her life because she’s a nauseatingly good person.

 

Happy Friends Day everyone and thanks for reading.

Now go tell your best friend that they rock and I’ll see you tomorrow!

NFred.

 

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3 thoughts on “Paragraph # 26: Why I Love My Best Friend.

  1. PhoreverPhanPhather says:

    Time to play 20 questions on the identity of this mysteriously compact person
    Is she bigger than a breadbox?!

  2. PhoreverPhanPhather says:

    Is she human?
    Does she have more than two legs?
    Purebred?
    If purebred, is she a German Shepherd?
    (Oh my God, I’m getting close, aren’t?)

  3. PhoreverPhanPhather says:

    Whoa! Is he imaginary?
    (tell me and I won’t tell anyone else, promise!)

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