I had high hopes for today.
A day off work and eight glorious hours to myself.
I didn’t have any big plans. Just writing, sitting on my couch, watching some Netflix and eating a chocolate bar.
But all of that was thrown out the window when today was declared a Snow Day.
And the kicker? It’s NOT EVEN FUCKING SNOWING OUTSIDE!!!!!!
Okay fine, there’s some freezing rain action and the roads are slick but don’t fucking call it a Snow Day when there’s no snow falling from the goddam sky.
And it’s all my fault.
I should have driven my kids to school.
I deeply regret the decision I made when I was semi conscious at six thirty this morning.
At the time, the idea of staying in bed for a glorious extra half hour impaired my judgement.
I should have gotten my fat ass out of bed and taken them to school.
But it’s too late for “should haves.”
Now I have to live with the consequences of my sleep deprived actions.
And by “live” I mean I have to sit here on my couch, drinking coffee and writing while my kids alternate between playing video games and making me loaves of bread out of Playdoh.
Wait a second…
I’m sitting on my couch, writing. That’s half of what I wanted to accomplish today and it’s not even noon!
If I can sneak in some Netflix programming that isn’t animated and scarf down that chocolate bar without getting busted by the kids, then I’ll triumph over this stupid Snow Day!
Did you hear that Snow Day?
I’m half way to owning you!
AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!
So, why don’t you take your freezing rain and your ice and your cancelled school buses and SUCK IT!
I’m going to be right here on my couch chillaxing like you never even existed.
Thanks for reading and I’ll see you tomorrow,