I had a friend growing up that hated swearing. She used to say that people swore because they had nothing better to say. Because I’ve always been an asshole, I prided myself on cursing as much as possible when I was in her presence.
I developed a love affair with crass language at an early age. I remember writing the horrible “s” and “f” words over and over in my childhood diaries and feeling like a total badass.
I also remember the first time I got caught swearing…
I was in grade two. It was sunny outside and my friends and I were playing during recess. I don’t remember exactly what we were playing but I know there was a great deal of running involved. Tag maybe? Anyway, some boy decided to chase me around the soccer field and I was not amused. Instead of asking him politely to stop, I yelled “FUUUUUCKKKKK OFFFFF” at the top of my lungs. Just as those bad words left my lips, the teacher on yard duty stopped me in my tracks. She passionately expressed her displeasure for my choice of vocabulary and sentenced me to spend the rest of recess with my nose pressed firmly against the school wall.
Listen, I know that there’s a time and a place for using strong language. No, I don’t drop “f bombs” in front of my kids or customers or when visiting my Grandma. But I will never cease to throw in an appropriately timed cuss word where I see fit.
Obviously my childhood friend was wrong in her belief that people swear because they have nothing better to say. Hello, I have a fuck load to say and I’ll continue to say that shit in my “colourful” NFred style.
Thanks for reading and I’ll see you tomorrow,