Writer’s Diarrhea

writing is hard


I feel like at any given moment, I have about seventeen story ideas floating around inside my head.

Sometimes an idea pops into my noggin and I’m compelled to write it down. I’ve written plot points on the back of receipts, on scrap paper I find at work and even once on the side of a Kleenex box.

Although I rarely suffer from writer’s block, I am often plagued by writer’s diarrhea; a condition that causes explosive amounts of unfinished, terrible writing.

For the past month, I’ve started a plethora of stories but have had no success in completing any of them. These unfinished writings sit on my computer and mock me. They call out to me, “NFred, come over here and add more words to us! Write us! Finish us! What are you afraid of, NFred??? You call yourself a writer? HA! The only thing you’re good at writing is a grocery list!”

This month I’ve been suffering from, hands down, the absolute worst case of writer’s diarrhea I’ve ever experienced. I’ve been trying to figure out why my writing has been so terrible lately and I’ve come up with a few ideas;

1. It’s the summer and my children are home and I’m finding it very difficult to sit in silence at my computer for more than a few minutes without one of them demanding snacks or needing my undivided attention to find a microscopic piece of Lego or I’m summoned to break up a sibling brawl.

2. I’ve been working wonky hours and am often exhausted when I do get the opportunity to sit down and write. Hence, my writing makes no sense. Seriously, some of the stuff I’ve written reads like it was penned by someone high on meth.

3. I’ve been trying to eat better and I’m positive that the lack of chocolate and carbs in my diet is hindering my creative process.

So how do I cure my writer’s diarrhea? Is there any literary Pepto-Bismol out there that I can take that will stop me from starting yet another piece of crap writing?

Luckily, there is a cure for writer’s diarrhea. The only downfall is that it’s equally as hard to swallow as a spoonful of chalky pink medicine…

The cure is to keep writing.

The more I write, the better I’ll get at writing and hopefully all my terrible stories will evolve into something that I don’t hate. And the more confidence I get, the more my brain will settle down and let me focus on one story idea at a time.

I’ve always written. I started my first journal in grade two. I’m confident that the only reason I graduated from high school was that I could essay my way out of just about anything. I love to write, but I also constantly doubt my work. I’ve come to realize that the more I doubt myself, the worse my writer’s diarrhea becomes.

So, I’ll continue to write, despite my rampant diarrhea.

I’ll write through every shitty story and terrible idea.

I’ll write when I’m tired.

I’ll write when I’m happy.

I’ll write when I’m depressed.

I’ll write not just because I want to, but because I need to.

And most importantly, I’ll write because I’m a writer. And a writer that doesn’t write is just about the saddest thing I can imagine.

And who knows, maybe one day I’ll finish all my terrible stories and turn them into a collection called, “The Diarrhea Diaries””.

What a crappy idea!


Thanks for reading and high fives all around,





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